my new e! shows

i have to say that i enjoyed pam's girl on the loose show. no matter  how much i think she exploits women the girl is still gorgeous. you have to appreciate someone in their 40's that can still do a back walk over. 

however, sunset tan is lacking in just about every aspect except over edited drama. who gets a tattoo with someone's name that they have just broken up with? i will unfortunately keep watching and hating this show. can janelle please stop telling erin to break up with her volleyball playing new boyfriend? how hard can it be to manage a freakin tanning salon?

what's a fat pregnant girl to do?

I got the axe today. 

I was told by my obgyn today to lay off the fast food and start an exercise program. i am now severely depressed. which really sucks because when i am depressed i eat. i eat chocolate, fun dip, mcdonald's- you name it. why is it that when you get depressed you don't want to exercise? i can honestly never say that when i feel down i want to go for a jog. now, my dear sweet, psychotic husband- he would totally do that. which is why he is all muscles and i am wearing pants with an elastic waist. bastard.

now, what am i going to do? you can't really go on a diet at 6 months pregnant and i am either too tired or too lazy to go for a walk. not to mention living in sunny florida during the hurricane season totally sucks. it rains pretty much every day. 

i so don't want to join the gym. people just look at you funny when you are really pregnant and on the elliptical. and you can't really pick a fight with the stupid bitches next to you when you are doing every thing you can to hang on so you don't fall off the damn machine. woe is me. what a world.... what a world...

dog owner woes

things i never thought i would say:

" jack- get the giraffe out of your mouth!"

"babe- did you see how big his poop was?"

" stop peeing on the stroller riley!"

" allie quit licking jack's balls"

" jackson- stop peeing on the stroller, sorry riley"

" who peed on the topiary?"

"who ate my prenatal vitamins?"

" how did they get to the cookies on top of the stove?"

" why does his toxic pee keep killing our plants?"

mo teeth

everyone warned me about the 15 month molars. i was like "no way is it going to interrupt presley's sleeping habits". those are the words of a 1st time nieve as shit mom. 

not only are any of us sleeping - no one even mentioned the diarrhea and occasional throw up that comes along with major molar teething. i thought she was getting 8 new teeth at once but it's really just 4 b/c the size of those things are huge. 

i do feel really bad for her due to the pain and suffering she is going through. i don't really remember getting my molars and being too traumatized over it but hey- anything can happen.

more importantly, what about my pain and suffering. no more 2-3 hour naps during the day. i am lucky if i barely get her to sleep for a full hour. no more laying down at 9 or even 8:45 some nights and falling right asleep. now it's a full 30 minutes (at least) of whining, talking to herself or mumbling every time she goes in that crib. kill me now. i miss her naps. i miss her sweet self saying "lub you" before passing out. i want my baby back!!!

i am so tired from worrying about her teeth, diarrhea and random throwing up that i have googled the crap out of every ailment a kid can have. (which i am surprised we have all made it this far with as many things out there that you can contract)

we go to the dr on thursday for the dreaded mmr/ 15 month old shots. i will grill that poor lady then i guess. until then, pray that what comes out of that beautiful child is not nearly as disgusting as what i cleaned up tonight. i don't think i can handle that again.

lone rider

is it as sad as it sounds that i sing to blue's clues and the laurie berkner band when my child is not around? yea, i thought it did. being a sahm i go everywhere with her so every time i get in the car i sort of go on auto pilot and turn on the dvd player (thank you grandma traci) and listen to her tunes. which are far better to listen to than her screaming and crying that use to happen before the all glorious dvd player arrived. 

if it wasn't for vh1 on saturday mornings i would never know any new music or artists (which i know is sad that is all the normal music i listen to but hey- it's not forever). now i can't wait for her to watch an actual movie- the little mermaid, nemo and whatever else has adult comedy but is filmed as a cartoon. however, if you ever listen to elmo closely there are lots of humorous undertones that my husband and i still giggle over. i.e. those noodles are real swingers! (you have to watch it to understand). so, here is to me riding alone in the car next time and not singing to elmo but actually turning on the radio. 

design this star

i am watching the next to last episode of design star and i never usually call in for a show but i would totally call in for jennifer right now. i thought she did a much better job than matt. brian would be so good at this show. even though he isn't a "professional" designer he would totally rock the challenges. he has decorated the majority of every house we have lived in and even if i don't like it when he picks it out or buys it- i love it like a month later and am really glad we got it. 

anyway, can't wait til next sunday when we find out the winner. then i can pay more attention to my other shows. i wonder if i will still have time to keep track of my "reality" shows once my little man gets here. if i get any bigger i probably pop open and he will just crawl out on his own. ok that sounded strange but it's kind of late and i have eaten a lot of sugar tonight. by the way, it's my first time to try pepcid and i am really excited about not waking up choking on acid in the middle of the night. woo hoo!

manic friday

moldy monday. alright, it's really friday but does it really matter when you are a stay at home mom? i can never keep the days straight and have just recently figured out that i am double booked on monday for a mom's group and a picture appointment for presley.  i say moldy monday b/c monday's are the days where everything happens; whether strange, wonderful, busy or eventful. monday is when people start their week. but, if you are a stay at home mom it's different. friday is the beginning of my week. today especially b/c anything weird that could happen has.  here is what has happened before noon: my daughter threw up in her bed (has never happened before), my husband put a light bulb in his pants pocket- which i washed and found glass all in my dryer, did i mention that my entire laundry room smells like mold b/c my husband leaves his sweaty running clothes in there and i haven't done the laundry in 48 hrs, i had over 50 emails to check (i usually only have like 12- maybe 23 on a busy day), the toilet is broken and i got a call from the credit card company to see about recent activity (which always freaks me out). 

tonight though- brian comes home from work early and then i have time to get a pedicure tomorrow??? and a fun filled weekend of church, putting out mulch and getting ready for a birthday party next weekend. (b/c if you have a child you know that shopping for presents or party favors- not something i recommend) so, today is my busy day to make sure that everything is ready for a smooth and fun weekend with the family. oh yea, and i am out of dog food.